A munch is a social gathering for people who are interested in BDSM. Munches take place in public spaces like cafes or restaurants or in a private location. These events provide an opportunity to openly discuss BDSM/Kink-related topics in a safe environment without any shame. The topics are not limited to just BDSM, conversations about other things also occur throughout the evening. It's an opportunity to meet new people and make friends, as well as to learn about the community and about other events.

Consider it a night out with friends. The only difference is that you are free to talk openly about BDSM and to connect with like-minded individuals. It's entirely normal not to know anyone if you're attending for the first time. At a munch, you are welcome to join conversations and feel free to ask if you can sit with others.

Purpose of a munch

The goal of a munch is to bring together like-minded people interested in BDSM. It's an opportunity to make new friends, talk about BDSM and gather information on other events. If you're looking for a partner, a munch is NOT the right place for you. There are other events more suitable for this purpose.

A munch is also a perfect opportunity for newcomers to get to know the community. If you're inexperienced in BDSM, it's a perfect chance to ask questions and learn from others. If you have questions about the munch, feel free to ask the organizers, who will be happy to assist you. No experience is needed to participate in a munch.

Rules of a munch

Each munch has its own set of rules, so be sure to check the event description for detailed rules. Below, we discuss some common rules you can expect at a munch. To see the rules for the Youth Munch, click here.

1. Respect others' privacy. What is discussed at a munch stays at the munch. You shouldn't share information with people who were not present at the munch.
2. Wear casual clothing. Although fetish clothing may be allowed at some munches, it's usually not. If fetish clothing is permitted, it will be mentioned in the event description. Fetish clothing is NOT allowed at the Youth Munch.
3. Unwanted touching or other inappropriate behavior is not allowed. You may hug or kiss people, but only if you have received permission. If you want to touch someone, first ask for consent. If you receive consent, keep it to a hug or kiss. If you don't get permission, respect that.
4. Treat everyone equally. Whether you are a Dom, sub, switch, top, bottom, or something else, everyone is equal and deserves respect. Being a sub doesn't mean you can be ordered around.

Most munches are free. You only pay for your own consumption. Make sure to check each event for its specific rules. Some munches are only for young people (like our Youth Munch), while others are for all ages and genders.

Tips for first-time visitors

If you're attending for the first time, it can be a bit overwhelming. That's why it's important to know that you're not obligated to join in conversations. You can simply listen and observe. If you have questions, feel free to ask the organizers, who will be happy to assist you.

The most important thing: be yourself! You don't need to pretend to be someone you're not; you're welcome as you are. If you're not yet ready to talk about BDSM, that's okay. You can just listen and get a glimpse of the world.

Conversation topics

During a munch, you are free to talk openly about BDSM. Be aware that some people might be less open about BDSM than others. BDSM is not the only topic that gets discussed at a munch. It's a night out with friends, so you can talk about whatever you like. Just remember to respect others' privacy; what's discussed at the munch stays at the munch.

Where can I find munches?

Most munches are organized via FetLife. You can view them by going to the events page on FetLife. Don't know what FetLife is? Read our article about it.

Are you between 18 and 30 years old? You can also participate in our Youth Munch. This munch is organized by and for young people.

About the Youth Munch

The Youth Munch is an event for young people between 18 and 30 years old. You can openly talk about BDSM and meet like-minded individuals. It's a great way to get to know the community and other events.

Other munches can sometimes be overwhelming for first-time attendees due to a large age gap. That's why we created the Youth Munch. It's an event where you can meet other young people and talk openly about BDSM.